so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
