Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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