I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
