Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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