Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
