She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
