LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
