um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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