so let's talk penis.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
