he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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