plz talk dirty to me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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