Taylor Swift is so right about you.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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