Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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