Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
