I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
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You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Watching her eat just hurts me
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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