were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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