Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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