Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
