Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
