i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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