Dual....:-)
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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