She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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