and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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