so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
