dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
