She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
