She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
