I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
