Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
