i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
