I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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