id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
