at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
