idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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