i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
