i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
as a side note pls kill me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
