Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
