I'd wear matching sweaters with you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
