But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
