no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
