If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
