Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
