I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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