jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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