Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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