I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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