Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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