i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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