and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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