Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize