if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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