i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I party with great urgency now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
