remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is that strawberry winking at me??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
