Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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