Where is the hickey?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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