The best revenge is premature balding
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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