i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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