so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
