The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
