So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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