did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your penis caused this!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
