did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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