First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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