the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize