he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
