So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
